What do I want to be when I grow up?

It's been awhile. There is always so much to say, but waiting for the writing muse to strike takes patience. Letting things percolate or simmer has merit. Lately I've been mediating on 'what I want to be when I grow up'. This sounds absurd I suppose, for a middle aged woman to say. But it's truth.

I have always wanted to be 'free', I suppose. When I say that, I really mean that I have always wanted to do work that isn't proscribed in a box (e.g. crunching numbers in a cubicle), but rather, do work that serves others, that has intrinsic meaning and value, that serves a greater purpose than just my own ends.

I've always focused on mind/body work. But as I've gotten older, it becomes clearer that yoga and pilates aren't the only way that I may use my gifts to help others. Leveraging 20 years of life skills, people skills, education, sales, wellness and support-- all of these things have melded into something that is dynamic, creative, and open to new frontiers.

I will always want to teach and serve others. It feeds my soul and spirit, to give back in that way. I seem to have a heart for the things that I have lived through or been touched by; maybe that's true for most of us. We can speak to the things that we've lived through, both good and bad, and then try to make a difference.

It seems so late to begin again. I think that many of us struggle with that idea-- that we must reinvent ourselves at various seasons or points in our lives. As we grow, so too do our needs in our work lives and relationships. It is not an easy thing, to feel as though I am stepping off of a cliff, but then again-- I've done it many times before. These are the things that grow us, the adversities, the 'not knowing', the 'what's next?'.

I can see it, where I want to go next. I have not had this feeling since I began in wellness 20 years ago; how I get there remains to be seen.

'Life is chaos; be kind.'-- Patton Oswalt via Michelle McNamara