Thanksgiving Postmortem Leftovers

Ahhh, the day AFTER a holiday; always that letdown kind of feeling-- 'I ate too much', 'I spent too much', etc. I love the day after things; it's always a good time to reflect and renew; take stock and wipe the slate clean (and to stay in one's pajamas). With Thanksgiving, it's self-evident that we are meant to acknowledge the things we are grateful for, as we should. But there is that other piece, the piece that we don't really want to look too deeply at: what are the things we are NOT thankful for? We had the glorious feast, but what were the scraps that noone wanted?

This week as I was preparing to teach a Thanksgiving morning yoga class, I sat quietly and prayed on this. What are the things that have challenged me the most this year, the things that I thought were insurmountable? What were the circumstances that threw me sideways-- that still push on me-- and more importantly, how have I reacted to these things? In the past I might have reacted in pride, anger, frustration, depression, sadness. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from perfect, on my walk with The Lord. It's not a 'free pass' to walk with Him. Daily I am making mistakes and asking forgiveness, and starting over. There are still people working against me; the Enemy incognito. I guess the difference now is my awareness of these things, and learning to use the tools I now have to 'armor' up and fight for what is right IN THE RIGHT WAY. 

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^a whenever you face trials of many kinds,3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:20)

So how do we find grace in the hardest circumstances? Pray, read, fellowship with others who we trust and love. Rather than being a victim to these things that happen, how do we put on a different filter and see difficulties as blessings? This is really one of the hardest things to do, in my opinion. Everyone I know has had challenges of some sort this year, and that is nothing new. There is a new underlying strength there for me, iron-clad foundation of stability that gives me some mooring as I navigate through some troubled waters. He has this, He has me covered. I am tethered to something, someone, who gives us these challenges in order to pull us CLOSER to him in faith, trust and love, rather than turning away in fear, sorrow and defeat.

Earlier in the week my son and I were talking about 'If there is an all-loving God, then how can He just allow evil things/people to exist (like the holocaust, mass murder of children etc)? While I don't have all the answers, I am trying to hold strong to faith, because even (or especially) without faith, questions like these still cannot be answered-- all that's left then is disillusionment, mistrust, fear, and a kind of meandering faithlessness that goes nowhere. I am becoming acutely aware that there is something so much bigger than me, than you, than all of us-- orchestrated by a god so big that we can only catch glimpses of how He is working in our lives. Yes, we have free will, but how can we possibly have an overview of ALL things, and live with that overwhelming knowledge every single day? It's simply too unfathomable. And so, in learning to trust, I have to hand it over to Him, and not try to use my limited logic and knowledge of 'why' things go wrong, or get taken away, or any other thing that APPEARS to be hopeless. Using my mind or logic isn't really the way to walk through these things; it's not enough. 

"Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes." (Is. 30:20, NLT)

When I shift my filter from 'why me' to 'what can I learn from this?', it invariably draws me closer to Him, to things having a purpose, EVEN the seemingly impossible things. "But i don't WANT to learn from that, it's too hard, there is too much at stake", often runs through my mind in harder times. Learning to let go of what I want, and in MY time, is important. 

As I reflect on this year, it has truly been not only one of the most painful, but one of the most uplifting; how is this even possible? Loss, forgiveness, financial challenges, career change, self-examination, humility, friendship-- the myriad of all of it, laid out as a glorious tapestry of 'the good, the bad, and the ugly'. And looking back (hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?), it all seems so clear to me from where I now sit: everything plays out as it is meant to. whether we accept it or fight it tooth and nail. Surrender to the process of loss and redemption isn't the same thing as 'giving up'; we sill have to get up every day and do the best we can. We have to be His hands and feet. 

So on this day AFTER a day of thanks, ask yourself, 'what am i NOT thankful for, and what is the lesson there, how can it refine and define me further? Where is God leading me, and what are my gifts and strengths?' It is trial by fire that truly brings us face to face with who we are, what we are made of, and where we belong. Try to find grace and thanks for the hard stuff this year; by contrast you can see ALL of it illuminated, not just the good stuff, as gifts.